There’s no denying we are social creatures. Yet being alone is also part of the human condition.

Listen to your solitude signals. Feeling drained?

Irritated?

Tempted to hide in a closet for a few minutes just for some peace and quiet?

These are all cues that the outside world overstimulates you—too many people, activities, or demands on your time for too long.

Our bodies send us predictable signals when we’ve hit our limit and need some time alone.

Some psychologists consider solitude a basic human need just as important as relationships and view the ability to be alone as a sign of healthy emotional development.

Some find it boring, lonely, or anxiety -inducing. Others are objectively isolated and wish they weren’t alone.

Still, others crave solitude but can’t find the time or space for it.

Despite these barriers, many of us could benefit from learning how to have a better experience of solitude, whether we enter into it by choice or not. The problem is that we often don’t know how.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you …. There must be skills associated with the capacity to be alone, just as people learn social skills to navigate the world of relationships successfully.

Interviews with adults who frequently sought out time in solitude (but weren’t lonely) revealed that they use specific strategies to make time alone a constructive, enjoyable experience.

Connect With Yourself

Positive solitude appears to be rooted in self-connection. Rather than focusing on other people, time alone gives us a chance to direct our attention to self-care and self-discovery.

Enjoy solitary activities.

People who enjoy solitude find a lot of satisfaction and meaning from solitary pursuits—whether that’s getting absorbed in a hobby, reading, writing for pleasure, or getting out in nature by themselves.

They rarely experience boredom when they’re alone and genuinely enjoy their own company while doing things they find interesting.

Feel and regulate your emotions. In the initial space of solitude, buried emotions, memories, or problems can surface.

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Rather than avoid distressing feelings, we can learn to engage in what psychologists call integrative emotion regulation in which we approach those emotions with curiosity.

We can use the privacy of our alone time to explore our feelings without judgment.

Accepting and expressing these emotions safely helps us self-regulate  and release stress.

Be introspective. People who enjoy solitude are willing to self-reflect.

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They spend time considering their behavior patterns, reflecting on their values, or contemplating the bigger picture.

Introspection is not the same as rumination, where our thoughts turn over the same material without resolution or go round and round about situations we can’t control.

In contrast, introspection invites self-awareness, bringing us closer to insight about who we are.

Protect Your Time

This set of skills creates structure and boundaries  for solitude to occur.

Make time to be alone.

Benefiting from solitude starts with carving out time in the first place, a skill that can be difficult when balancing relationships and work.

Often it means negotiating with your partner or family for time and space to be alone.

It helps to explain that everyone will benefit if you get some time to yourself, because you’ll feel recharged and ready to reconnect.

Be mindful of how time in solitude is spent.

Using alone time “well” means different things to different people, but the crux of this skill is paying attention to what you actually need out of your time alone.

Scrolling on social media or watching television may feel restorative after a stressful day at work… or it may distract you from more fulfilling pursuits.

Validate the need for solitude.

This is especially relevant for people who were raised in families or societies ln the West that value extraversion more than introversion.

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