Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.

 Accepting a favor he couldn’t pay back, that created dependency, was worse than death. It was compromising his freedom. It was slavery.

We instinctively grasp the difficulty because one of the hardest things to do in life is to say “No.” To invitations, to requests, to obligations, to gifts, and to the stuff that everyone else is doing. Saying yes is so easy…and it feels so good.

Even harder is saying no to less obvious impositions: getting caught up in the status of the job, normalizing yourself at a certain level, the drama, the rush.

Why are so many bands from the 70s and 80s still on the road? It’s not only the money, it’s that they need the adulation of the crowd. They can’t go back to regular life.

Neither can most of us once we have tasted the forbidden fruits of power or fame or being needed.

Freedom is the most important thing. We’re born with it, and yet many of us wake up one day surprised at the chains we wear. The reason? Because we said yes too many times and never learned how to say no.

Only a free person can decline. Preserving this power is essential.

It’s the difference between a life of subservience and a life of your own.

 Because if you can’t say no, you’re not powerful or free. You’re a slave.

Freedom is the most important thing. We’re born with it, and yet many of us wake up one day surprised at the chains we wear. The reason? Because we said yes too many times and never learned how to say no.

N.O. No. Two simple letters. One simple word.

But why is it sometimes so difficult to say no?

For many people, saying no is packed with guilt. Maybe you’re afraid of disappointing someone. Maybe you’re anxious to turn down your boss. Or maybe you’re a people pleaser.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you ….No matter the reasons, learning how to say no is an important skill for your personal health and well-being .Our time and energy are precious resources that we should use wisely. And that means we can’t do everything.

Do you find that you have a hard time saying “no” when something is asked of you?

I felt like this for most of my life and still fight the urge not to immediately blurt out “sure!” when someone asks me for their help.

I could probe under my mental hood for why I have this innate inclination to say yes but at the end of the day, it’s simply part of who I am. I know I have a lot of company in feeling this way.

There’s a whole plethora of books and reading material on how to say no to the many things asked of us in life.

Many of us are raised in such a manner that we feel we should always be helping others. That we should always be willing to lend a helping hand whenever possible.

And many of us are taught that to get ahead in our work life, we should be willing to “do what it takes” and take on additional responsibilities.

Do you want to add a word or two?

If you’re willing to meet halfway, this is the time to negotiate. It’ll allow you to accommodate the request without saying an outright no. This can include reducing the size of the task, asking for a longer deadline or sharing the load with another person

Use the word.

Not, ‘Not at this time’, not ‘I don’t think so’, not ‘I’m not sure’, not ‘Maybe next time’.

The word NO is a powerful thing. Use it if you are absolutely, unequivocally sure that there is no other answer.

And don’t apologise for saying it. If need be, practise saying the word until it loses its power over you.

Don’t go on and on.

In some cases, it’s best not to elaborate. If you justify your ‘no’ too much, it can seem like you’re lying – or worse still, it can allow the asker to find a workaround to try and make you say yes.

Don’t be afraid to say it twice.

Sometimes people don’t respect boundaries, or are used to people caving if they ask again.

Just because someone is persistent, doesn’t mean you have to give in. Smile politely, and say no a second time, just more firmly than the first.

 

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