True for many people?
In my personal experience, yes.
If you tell someone what they want to hear, and it’s even untrue, most often it is call people-pleasing.
I call it kowtowing. To kowtow to someone is to kiss up to them and do what they want you to do or say what they want to hear.
A person who often tells people what they want to hear even untrue and does things for other people at the cost of their own comfort is a people pleaser.
People can call people pleasers “super nice people” too. In my subjective opinion that was not asked for, being nice is just another word for being a people pleaser.
Being good on the other hand is knowing your boundaries while still being helpful to others in need. Disagree with me here if you want.
The word that describes when a person tells you what you want to hear rather than the truth is “Placate.” Pronounced (Play-Kate) it means to lessen the anger.
This can be done by soothing or calming. By flattery or over complimenting and of course by telling someone what they would like to hear.
I believe that is what you were looking for in an answer.
It validates their emotional experiences.
A lot of people don’t want the truth. They want the comfort of validation even if that means lying to themselves.
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Thank you …People are addicted to their comfort-zones. That’s why they don’t get what they want out of life and relationships.
Many believe that ignorance is bliss until they figure out that it isn’t.
Especially when it comes to religion or politics.
I think a lot of people that I interact with have a preset mindset, and then just find “facts” to justify their beliefs. Which I think is completely backwards.
You should keep an open mind, and let the facts and truth dictate what you decide to believe. I think humans are also widely known for not liking to admit they’re wrong.
Do you want to add a word or two?
Tell Them What They Want to Hear or Tell Them the Truth?
“That’s not what I tell them because that’s not what they want to hear,” she said—out loud—at dinner.
She explained that they wanted to pursue custody and that they were going to do it regardless of what she said.
She had already concluded that it was pointless to tell them what she thought of them, their case, or their chances.
She decided to let them pay her to handle the case rather than pay someone else. She explained that she’s “not in the business of telling people to go buy it from someone else.”
I’ll admit to having had those same thoughts from time to time. I like to think I’m smart enough not to say them out loud, especially to people I don’t know that well. But that’s what she did. We heard it all at full volume.
I can understand where she’s coming from. She’s in business to support her family. The last thing she wants to do is chase away a fee.
Your Comments……
Should You Hide the Ball?
I’ve found myself in that spot many times.
However, I usually haven’t kept my thoughts to myself.
Maybe it’s my contrary nature. Maybe it’s that some people just annoy the crap out of me.
Maybe I’m just trying to do the right thing. I’m not sure why I do what I do. But here’s what I do:
I tell them what I think regardless of whether it’s what they want to hear.
I tell them when they’re doing something stupid.
I tell them when I think they’re pursuing something pointless.
I tell them when I think they’re doing what they’re doing for all the wrong reasons.
I’ll even tell them that I think they’re behaving badly and ought to know better.
The first few times I did it, I worried. I wondered what would happen, but I couldn’t stop myself. My mouth went rogue.
Over time, I came to understand that being brutally honest almost always paid off. Isn’t that amazing?
What Happens When You Tell the Truth.
I figured out that I could say the right thing and still make money.
Sometimes we did what they wanted anyway, but they understood what I thought and why it wasn’t likely to work.
More often, they came to their senses. They needed someone to tell them the truth. Often, they came back later to do something sensible. Many times, they referred their friends.
My approach—and I suggest you consider it as well—is to tell them the truth.
Tell them what you think regardless of whether they ask you. Tell them when they’re doing something wrong that’s going to hurt them or their family.
Be more than a hired gun. Be their trusted adviser.
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