To begin, what kind of person tends to give unsolicited advice?
Personalities who are known colloquially as “alpha” personalities are the most frequent advice-givers.
This article will highlight several factors or traits that help to explain why these men and women so often advise others on how to live.
Unsolicited advice-givers tend to be rigid in the way they approach life in general.
In terms of their thinking style, unsolicited advice-givers tend to be cognitively rigid.
They typically believe that they are right, and when they approach a problem, they often have difficulty seeing the situation from multiple perspectives.
They can be absolutist in their thinking, perceiving things in an all-or-nothing, black-or-white way.
They tend to have a grandiose sense of self or perception of their own competence.
In terms of their personality style, unsolicited advice-givers tend to be grandiose, believing that they are more intelligent, special, or sensible than others.
Unsolicited advice-givers wouldn’t give advice if they didn’t believe that their feedback about how to approach a given situation was optimal or superior.
Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.
Thank you ….These men and women tend to operate in daily life with the mindset that the world would run much more smoothly if only they could make all the decisions.
What’s lacking with this perspective is humility and insight. As bright and competent as they often are, one would expect that they learned a very basic truth long ago: We must make certain mistakes ourselves in order to learn from them and change our behavior later.
They are ruled by compulsion more than self-awareness.
If you know any unsolicited advice-givers, you know that it often seems as if they can’t stop themselves from giving advice.
At root, they are compelled to give it. What’s interesting is that as self-assured and strong as they appear on the surface, they simultaneously lack a certain level of awareness.
Not only are they not aware of others’ thoughts and feelings, but they also lack self-awareness. These individuals do not see how their actions are often unwarranted or even uncalled for, and they never stop to reflect on their own motivations for giving unsolicited advice in the first place.
Do you want to add a word or two?…
They seek a sense of control and order.
People who give unsolicited advice do so not because they necessarily care about the receiving audience but because giving advice gives them a sense of control and order.
The advice-giver has a problem-solving orientation which can be beneficial when applied to their own life, but often intrusive when applied to others’ lives.
Your Comments……
When someone shares an upsetting or difficult situation, the unsolicited advice-giver (consciously or unconsciously) feels anxious and is then compelled to write a prescription of “should” in order to make the advice-giver feel like things are ordered, manageable and predictable.
The reason why most people don’t take unsolicited advice has to do with independence and defiance.
As adults, we’re not first graders who come when called.
Adults have spent enough years listening to teachers preach in front of the classroom, or being subjected to parents who control so much of a child’s life.
If you liked this post from DAYAL why not share it?