It’s frustrating when someone ignores what you say. Why do they do it?
Reduce it to one point. Make sure you are satisfied with this one point, and state if clearly, then wait.
Look for signs that the other person heard you. If you observe that they aren’t following you, stop and say, “What do you think?”.
You lost them early on. As simple as this sounds, it’s the number one reason people stop listening. They missed the point early on, a stitch was dropped, and so they tune out.
They’re distracted. Something else is claiming their attention while you are trying to get it.
They’re not interested but don’t have a nice way of telling you so.
They are forced to listen to so many people that they tune out automatically.
You’ve touched a nerve. The other person has private beliefs that you’ve encroached upon.
Wrong timing. You’ve entered the situation at a time when the other person isn’t prepared to listen.
You’re trying too hard, putting stress on the other person. Stress causes everyone to stop listening.
All of these things can be corrected by looking and listening to what’s actually happening in a situation.
This isn’t a blame game. It’s not that you are doing something wrong or the other person is at fault. Instead, there’s a communication problem, and communication is a two-way street.
I have been a part of the situation where a normal conversation is turned into a heated argument and it keeps increasing because of wrong words piling on one another. Be it office, home, partner or even video calls, it is important to know how to diffuse an argument so that the relationships are well-maintained.
Resolving conflicts requires you to be mindful in the scenario so that you find the real reason behind the problem and keep a control on the language, tone and body posture.
Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.
Thank you …Two people become challenged and confronted on occasion by others who differ in their opinions and who desire and are determined to argue.
This could be about almost anything and with almost anyone, including our most intimate partners, family members, social acquaintances or colleagues.
It is wise for both parties who enter into arguments to be able to defuse them and dissolve their anger toward each other in a relatively efficient and respectful manner. It is wise to cool down and become calmer so you can return to interacting civility.
Unresolved and undissolved arguments weigh heavily, both mentally and physically, on both parties.
Sustained arguments can initiate a fight-or-flight response, which can take its toll on both parties’ immune systems and overall well-being.
Look within.
It is not what others do or say or even what happens to you that is crucial. It is about how you perceive it and what you decide to do with or about it.
To have a heated and lasting argument takes two people who stubbornly desire to be right, who are taking a firm or rigid stance and who are projecting their uniquely biased and probably limited opinions onto each other.
Do you want to add a word or two?….
Being right seldom leads to resolution — being understanding and resilient to alternative views does.
Give yourself a little bit of space and a brief moment of time to calm down your initial emotional reactions. Step back and take inventory of what has actually initiated the argument. This can allow you to ask yourself some quality questions about your involvement and the reasons for and purpose of the argument. If two people are exactly the same, one of them is wrong.
Communicate your views in terms of their highest values. People are dedicated to fulfilling their own highest values, not necessarily ours.
When they perceive that you are communicating in a way that helps them fulfill what is most meaningful and important to them, they calm down and become receptive and more attentively listen.
Your comments ….
Choose a time and place when the other person isn’t distracted. Sometimes this isn’t easy, because office life bombards everyone with constant distractions.
If you can, either make an appointment or say, “What’s a good time?” Don’t say, “Is this a good time?” because most people will be polite and say yes when they don’t mean it. Under those circumstances, you won’t be listened to.
Many very busy people have learned to fake listening because of the constant demand on their time. Don’t join the line of those who will not be listened to. Instead, have someone who actually has this person’s ear provide an entree.
It’s always embarrassing if you unwittingly touch a nerve in your listener. If you see that it’s happened, apologize and leave. Don’t try to back and fill. It won’t work.
If you have come at a bad time and didn’t know it, back out immediately. Don’t say, “This will only take a second.” People stop listening when they hear this. Ask to re-schedule later, not on the spot.
Don’t try too hard. Even if you push hard enough to get your way, you will be resented. This sets you up for being shut out later. The secret here is to establish rapport.
Be personable and sincere.
Everyone can tell when they are being softened up, so don’t do that. You have established rapport when the other person smiles, uncrosses his arms, meets your gaze, and looks relaxed.
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