People say people don’t change for reasons: because it is true, it facilitates understanding, and it protects us from wasting effort on trying to change others.
It is true. We humans are fundamentally physical beings and thus cannot change on our own.
This does not mean that people do not undergo change at all; people can exhibit change when placed in a different environment.
However, any observed change is entirely due to the sum of latent aptitude and the environment the person is in. In this sense, believing that people can change on one’s own is simply counterfactual.
To believe one can change on their own is to arrogantly claim the credit for the change one was granted, when it should be correctly and humbly attributed to the genes and the environment that produced the change one was granted.
It facilitates understanding. Accepting that people do not change leads us to humbly see people for what they really are and accept differences between us.
Believing people can change facilitates all-or-nothing thinking and makes us only see people who are willing to change or who are not.
When looking at a person who appears to be unwilling to change, those who believe in change will throw a scornful eye from perceived cynicism; people who accept that people cannot change will look beyond the unwillingness and grasp what enabled it.
It protects us from wasting effort on trying to change others. Accepting people do not change allows us to quickly turn away from those who are harmful to us?
Believing that people can change makes us to attempt changing who is causing harm to us, which can further damage our well-being.
People who believe people can change tend to persistently disagree to these. One thing is for sure: they do not change.
Never do smoking, once you started then it will be very hard to quit.
Never use steroids or anabolic to achieve your desired fitness goals.
Never choose quantity over quality P.s Don’t be a moron boy be a gentleman.
Never donate money to the religious organisations, these days’ people making organisations for the sake of their business. P.s Not all religious organisations are business hubs.
Never forget 3 types of people in your life
Who helped you in your difficult time?
Who left you in your difficult time?
Who put you in your difficult time?
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Thank you …Yes, I believe people can change. When a major life circumstance changes their reality, they will change.
For me, it happened when I had children. I changed in many expected ways. I no longer sleep in or spontaneously go to matinee movies. I love to travel, and used to enjoy the freedom, and would just let the road guide me.beautiful children, a lot of planning goes into just an overnight.
Living in Silicon Valley can be tough. It is difficult to impress around here.
Instagram scoops up $1B? Sounds like a lot, until WhatsApp comes along for 19x.
We really need to define “change” before we can sensibly answer it. Because, on a literal level, of course people change. They grow taller, for one thing. They lose their baby teeth. They also tend to grow more conservative, lose their hair, have memory problems, etc.
“In real life, can people really ‘change?’
Or do they simply modify their behavior to suit certain situations?”
If you modify your behavior, then surely you have changed?
No?
But I’m guessing you’re trying to draw a distinction between deep, internal change and a sort of pretense.
Given that, a racist who actually comes to feel that all people are equally valuable has changed, but a racist who just says he thinks all people are equally valuable (while secretly hating black people) hasn’t.
Is that the idea?
Parents who understand the impacts of violent behavior on their young children suddenly become aware that when they are acting out in anger, it feels like abuse to their child. When they discover they are causing their children to hate them and / or respond in fear, they regret their former responses and learn new ways of coping with frustration and anger.
Increasingly, they find themselves feeling less frustrated and angry, as they practice new coping skills. Experiencing themselves as loving and giving creates a positive feedback loop, and they change entirely.
This affects the rest of their lives, too. They suddenly see themselves as competent, capable, and caring.
It translates across every platform, and they even find themselves proselytizing to others in their quest to improve the world.
The paradigm shift occurred when they discovered their behavior caused harm to someone they love. They didn’t want those ripples emanating from their pond.
Do you want to add a word or two?….
The truth is that people do change. It’s very difficult; it’s usually a slow process; but they do it. That doesn’t seem to be the answer anyone wants to hear. What people want to hear is “yes” or “no?”
Those are the answers we always want to hear when dealing with people:
“Will your boyfriend cheat on me again?
– Yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
– No. He has asked for your forgiveness. He will work to earn your trust.
“If someone truly loves you, will you be able to tell by looking at him?”
– Yes. You will see it in his eyes.
– No. Not unless he tells you.
“Are people naturally monogamous?”
“Are women gold-diggers?”
“Do Conservatives hate the poor?”
– Yes.
– No.
Your comments ….
This is the bullshit we dish to ourselves in order to make our lives easier. The truth is that maybe your boyfriend will cheat on you again and maybe he won’t. Some people do only cheat once. Others keep doing it and doing it.
But the problem with such truths is that they’re not helpful. Bullshit is more helpful, because it allows you to make a decision and move forward: stay with him or dump him.
The same is true with yes/no answers to whether or not people are capable of change. If they’re not, you can quit trying to change them; if they are, then you’d better keep trying, because if they don’t change, it might be your fault! All bullshit.
The truth is that they might change or they might not. And, if they do, it will be very hard to tease out what caused the change.
It’s rarely an ah-ha! moment. It can be, but people backslide from ah-ha! moments more often than not. Real change slides into your life at the pace of a glacier, and it’s caused by many subtle things happening at once.
It’s always funny to me when someone says, “I told him five times, but he keeps insisting he’s right. He’ll never change.” Well, he might, but not because you tell him five times or a thousand.
People rarely change because you tell them things. They change because life experiences make them open to change.
I’m betting, if you live in a part of America that isn’t extremely conservative, you know some people who are way more comfortable with homosexuality than they once were.
That is a real change. They went from being at least disgusted by homosexuals to not caring if someone is gay or straight.
And Americans elected a black president?
Would that have happened just 20 years ago?
Just 10 years ago?
Why are people more comfortable with homosexuality now than they were 20 years ago?
Was it because their Uncle Joe came out of the closet?
Maybe. Maybe that’s part of it. But I’d bet it’s also “Will and Grace.” Its gay characters on mainstream sitcoms. It’s more and more gay people coming out. It’s more and more celebrities admitting to being gay. It’s the Bravo network.
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