An extramarital affair may have been the result of a well thought out course of action, or it may have occurred as a spur of the moment lapse in judgment.
Unfortunately, the impact can have lasting repercussions on the parties involved, particularly if a child is conceived as a result of the union.
What do you do when a child is born because one spouse had an extramarital affair?
How do you handle the betrayal AND the birth of a child as a result of one partner cheating on another?
As we address this issue, please be very prayerful as you read what I am sharing with you. Every situation is different. And for this reason, what you do, may need to be different for you, than for other people in a similar situation.
Adultery is one of the most difficult and painful issues for married couples.
A partner can stray for a variety of reasons, and reconciliation is possible, leading to the couple moving on to enjoy a stronger, healthier marriage as a result. However, forgiveness is not an easy process and there are times when it may not be possible.
The situation can be more complex and painful when a child results from an affair.
Anytime a spouse cheats, there’s a chance it will destroy the marriage. But sometimes that affair produces a child, leading both spouses to wonder can a marriage survive a love child?
Every time we see or hear of the love child, it’s like hearing about the affair for the 1st time all over again!
Getting over an affair takes time. But you CAN get past this difficult time and save your marriage.
When there is a love child that does require a huge amount of maturity, patience, and humility from the spouse of the cheater. When a child comes from the affair, expect the marriage recovery to take twice as long as recovering from an affair alone.
Since a husband cheats almost twice as often as women, my article will focus mostly on a man cheating and getting another woman pregnant.
But make no mistake. Extramarital sex happens on both sides.
A woman getting pregnant by a man other than her husband can also be incredibly devastating to the marriage.
Being honest is critical.
In short, you don’t fix a huge problem (a child from an affair) with another problem (lying about it). If you know your husband had a child with another woman but he isn’t being honest about it, you have a tough decision to make.
What I would do in that situation:
I would let them know that I know
If I wanted to save the marriage, I would make that clear
Then I would lay out specific conditions I would need to be met to move forward
100% honesty moving forward
The father must be involved in the child’s life
I would want to meet the other woman (and lay out some clear ground rules with her)
The father cannot have any communication with the other woman unless it pertains specifically to the child.
Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.
Thank you ….Any time someone cheats, it is devastating.
I once heard that for every month an affair lasted, it can take up to a year for that to heal. But when you have to regularly see a child from an affair, that’s like ripping the band aid off every single time. It’s almost like starting over on the healing with every visit.
And that’s on top of the guilt most of us would feel for feeling that way towards an innocent child.
But the reality is that anytime one of us has sex with someone of the opposite sex, a child is possible. It’s just that most people cheating get lucky and don’t end up having a child.
But the reality is that anytime one of us has sex with someone of the opposite sex, a child is possible. It’s just that most people cheating get lucky and don’t end up having a child.
The key to restoring a marriage after an affair, with or without a love child, is rebuilding trust.
Now that sounds overly simplistic and obvious. But if you have complete love and trust in your husband, seeing the child will eventually not hurt. Or at least not as much. You may even grow to love the child if they are in your house often enough.
There are several steps your husband can take to rebuild trust. But while he is ultimately in the driver’s seat of that, you can lay out clear expectations.
Unfortunately, affairs happen.
The reality is that women cheat on their husbands and men cheat on their wives. Despite what you might think, of those affairs, couples stay together after the affair is uncovered.
BUT, if that affair produces a child that can potentially change everything.
Adultery is one of the most difficult and painful issues for married couples.
A partner can stray for a variety of reasons, and reconciliation is possible, leading to the couple moving on to enjoy a stronger, healthier marriage as a result.
Forgiveness is not an easy process and there are times when it may not be possible.
Do you want to add a word or two?….
A marriage can survive a love child, all children are raised by men who aren’t their fathers but believe they are.
And while as many couples stay together after an affair. But there’s a lot more to know about an extramarital affair and illegitimate children.
CAN save your marriage — even after the trust has been broken.
You want to stop hurting. And you desperately want to restore trust, mutual acceptance, and respect to your marriage; even with a love child in the picture.
Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse seems reluctant or unsure.
Well, nothing, except perhaps when that affair leads to a child being born. An affair always destroys trust. And while the marriage can definitely be saved, a child is a constant reminder of the affair.
Your Comments……
The child isn’t responsible for your husband’s reckless behavior. But the child NEEDS a father.
You should only move forward trying to save your marriage if you are prepared to forgive your husband (eventually) and learn to be at peace with him helping to raise the biological mother’s child.
No one says you have to get there emotionally overnight. It will be hard work. But in order to save the marriage, you do need to get there eventually.
Now, no one would fault you for not wanting to stay with a man who fathered a child with someone else. BUT, if you do choose to stay with him, you should only do so being 100% accepting that he will (and should) be involved in the child’s life.
By definition, that also means you’ll likely have some level of interaction with the other woman.
If you can’t see yourself doing that, you should ask yourself if you really want to stay with your husband.
After all, what kind of a man would he be if he abandoned his child?
That’s the kind of man you should question being with, not the kind of man who wants to be involved in his child’s life.
There is a Child as a Result of an Affair
This married affair has been going on for long enough… Someone wants to break up with their married boyfriend, and there is a child involved.
If you liked this post from DAYAL why not share it?