In the early stages of a relationship, it can be hard to tell if a woman’s infatuated with you or if it’s love.

She may not even be sure herself! You might be completely sure of your feelings for her, so it’s confusing if you can’t tell how she feels. Infatuation is totally normal in the early stages of a relationship and it can develop into love once you know each other better.

To help you decide if she’s infatuated with you or in love.

I remember gazing across the table in that brightly lit restaurant on her birthday and thinking, “I can see myself spending my life with her.” It wasn’t a sudden revelation like relationships; it unfolded slowly and patiently without my knowledge.

I reasoned that because this one took time, it was somehow better. I thought that because I had finally decided she was for me, so it would be.

And I never saw it coming either. Because she adored me. Because she was secure and I was always the one that had to quiet her fears, to assure her about how much I cared.

Because I was out of her league and she felt lucky to be with me. Because she told me she loved me every day. She was always a great girlfriend: considerate, kind, romantic, open, and effusive with her praise and affection.

It felt like we were standing on the precipice of a large cliff, always looking out over a beautiful ocean and into a wonderful sunset. So when my back was turned and she violently pushed me towards the sharp rocks below, I never saw it coming.

For weeks, it felt like I was just falling. I could see her face as I looked up from where I fell and yet I couldn’t believe she was the one that sent me hurtling towards the ground. I cried out, I screamed, I wailed, but it didn’t stop the inevitable bone shattering pain that occurred when I met the earth below me. It was devastating.

I didn’t think I could feel that sort of heartbreak again. I foolishly thought that I had somehow outgrown the heart wrenching pain of earlier breakups; that with maturity comes a sort of invincibility. And yet, this might have been the worst out of all of them.

I didn’t ask myself, “Why?”

I learned a long time ago that the answer to that question is almost never satisfying and that it does not change what happened. Instead, I kept asking myself, “How? How could she do this to me?”

As if the answer wasn’t already in front of me, displayed by his actions. But I asked it all the time and as I sat across from my therapist, trying to explain through my tears and choked sobs that I never thought he would hurt me like this, a response came:

All relationships are a gamble.

Maybe it was the truth of the statement that resounded with me, or perhaps it was the knowing look of recognition across from me: the look of a fellow veteran who had made it out from the trenches alive.

I repeated it like a mantra in the weeks and months that followed. Nothing is definite, not even a promise made. And rather than send me deep into despair, accepting this truth was liberating.

There was no way to predict with any certainty that the ground beneath me would give out to air and sky the way it did. And there was really no way to protect myself from the fall or that I loved him so shamelessly and completely.

And I think that is the real reason the end was as painful as it was; I had finally allowed myself to be vulnerable with another person. And that meant taking a chance that they might not be as careful with my heart as they were with their own.

There are no real certainties when it comes to our relationships with others. Maybe real wisdom is accepting that fact and choosing to love anyway.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you ….She tells you how great you are even though she doesn’t know you well. In fact, infatuation usually happens before you really know each other. She might put you on a pedestal and tell you over and over how good you are at something or how impressed she is with you. This can make you feel really great in the early stages of a relationship.

For instance, if you’re supposed to go out for a date and you cancel on her, she probably won’t get upset if she’s infatuated. Instead, she might say, “You work so hard. I’m so proud of you,” without bringing up the fact that you canceled on her.

As your relationship grows, she should let you know if she was hurt by something you did.

She talks about you as though you’re in a fairytale.

You might hear her talking to her friends about how wonderful you are together even though you haven’t been together long or even though your relationship isn’t perfect. If you think she’s exaggerating about how charming things are, it’s probably infatuation.

She’ll make you feel guilty if you spend time with other people. This is because she wants you all for herself. She craves your company! In her mind, you’re perfect for her and she wants your full attention.

It’s normal for a couple to have eyes only for each other in the earliest stage of a relationship. As you date for longer, you should be fine with spending time around other friends.

She doesn’t want to talk about difficult subjects or confront problems. If she’s infatuated, she wants to keep enjoying the early, honeymoon stage where she’s just attracted to you and things are easy. It might not be love if she refuses to discuss your relationship or help you through hard times.

Imagine she does something that bothers you—maybe she tells your friends that you can’t hang out with them. If you try to talk with her about this, she might refuse to discuss it.

Do you want to add a word or two?….

You don’t know each other well before she talks about a future together. If she’s infatuated, she won’t try to really get to know you. Instead, she assumes that you’re meant for each other and acts as though you’ll always be together.

For example, if you’ve only been on a few dates but she’s already talking about moving in together or getting married, she’s definitely infatuated or even obsessed. She becomes clingy

She needs you to be in constant contact because she’s insecure.

As time goes on, you’ll notice that she calls more, texts more, and asks why you don’t reach out to her more often. This is because she needs your approval and she’s worried you’re drifting away—probably because you never really knew each other well in the first place.

Your Comments……

She blows hot and cold.

She might be excited and happy one minute and sad or angry the next. Infatuation can be confusing. When she’s with you, she feels joyful and loved, but if you’re not around, she probably second-guesses your feelings towards her. When you see her next, she might despair about your relationship so you reassure her.

If you’ve got an on-again/off-again relationship with the woman, it’s probably infatuation. This is because you two never move past the early stages of a relationship to develop a real connection.

She cares about your needs instead of using you to fulfill hers. With infatuation, the focus is on how you make her feel, but if she loves you, she’s concerned about how the relationship is making your life better. She might nudge you to take classes you mentioned to her or she may tell you to get started on that project you’ve always wanted to.

Her support shows that she cares about you deeply as a person and wants to see you happy.

You realize she’s giving her own opinion instead of what you want to hear. She also doesn’t shy away from having deep, thoughtful conversations with you. This shows that she wants to build a meaningful connection.

You may find the two of you talking for hours! You might even fight occasionally, but this shows she’s willing to work through it so the relationship lasts.

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