99% friendships are just visitors, let them come and go. People Always Leave.
It depends on how you look at it.
Friends, people who genuinely understand you, will be hard to find. Not because people are bad or rude, it’s just something that happens as we get older and start to turn inward.
I’ve had the same best friend for 20 years, and a handful of healthy but not close friendships with people scattered all over the world, who I visit and talk to once every few months or years.
As for enemies, I have never understood this about some people. How they can hold onto anger for so long. I let go of people who treated me badly. I don’t think about them anymore. But recently, my family member told me about how someone from my hometown, who bullied me still talks about how much she dislikes me.
I haven’t even seen his face in almost 7 years. It didn’t bother me much, until I started to think about it later. How bizarre. And what a terrible way to live your life – how can anyone be so full of hatred and anger?
I think it’s easy to believe you have more enemies than friends but letting go of the people who hurt you and focusing on what you can do to improve yourself and make the world a better place for everyone (even your so-called enemies) is much more productive and rewarding.
It’s a sad fact of life.
Think about it. How many people have you lost touch with over the years, who you used to consider friends (perhaps they were work colleagues), where —assuming you have their email or phone number— you would feel comfortable calling them out of the blue and saying “Hey, let’s get dinner this weekend and catch up!” (For that matter, if one of those people called / emailed you out of the blue with the same line, how would you react?)
Yeah.
Now, how quickly can you call to mind people who did you major harm (threw you under the bus at work, lied about you at school, etc). What sort of emotion comes to mind as you think about them?
Say, searing anger, along these lines “If I ever see [that person] again, they’ll regret it”?
Yeah.
It’s a sad fact that humans so easily let go of positive relationships but are always ready to fan flames of anger —and worse— toward people who have done harm (or perhaps simply “did not help”).
Friendship and forgiveness require regular reinforcing effort.
Hatred is easy to maintain; or even reignite after you’ve worked hard to forgive.
Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.
Thank you …. Two men visit a Zen master.
The first man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”
The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?”
The first man responds: “It was dreadful. Everyone was hateful. I hated it.”
The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I don’t think you should move here.”
The first man leaves, and the second man comes in.
The second man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”
The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?”
The second man responds: “It was wonderful. Everyone was friendly and I was happy. Just interested in a change now.”
The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I think you will like it here.”
When I read that story, I always like to imagine that the two men came from the same town. The easiest way to improve your life is to change your perspective.
Does that always make it the best way? I don’t know
Do you want to add a word or two?
I’m sitting in the train, and I hear someone crying, screaming, and howling in the next compartment.
There was a crowd that’d gathered around whoever was crying.
Intrigued, I rushed there.
I see a girl, about my age, on the phone, crying her lungs out.
On asking around I found out that she’d just lost her father thirty minutes ago, and she’d just received the news.
I immediately ran and sat next to her.
She cried and cried and cried.
Papa mar gaya.
Your Comments……
The crowd dispersed in about 5 minutes and then there were two aunties, me, a little girl, and one guy.
As I sat there, I heard them speak utter nonsense.
One aunty said that her family was extremely irresponsible for telling her the news while she was on the train.
Another said that she should eat. The guy said that he’d lost his mother a few years ago and how life goes on.
Then the aunties chipped in to say how they’d lost their father and mother too when they were very young.
They asked her to stop crying, they asked her to eat, and when she wouldn’t, they almost forced her to.
I sat there and I looked at her.
All of this was irritating her and making her cry more.
I asked the aunties to stop talking.
The girl immediately joined me to ask them to shut up.
They did.
I told her to not eat if she didn’t want to.
The aunties protested, but I stopped them, and told them to let her be.
They did.
In fifteen minutes, they left.
I sat with her in silence, all alone.
For the next ten minutes, we didn’t say a word. Then I introduced myself.
I started by telling her that if she didn’t want to do something, she had every right not to.
None of us knew what she was going through.
I also told her that I was going to sit with her for as long as she needed me, and if she wanted to cry I’ll hold her hand for as long as she wanted.
She opened up while I listened.
I didn’t interrupt her, but to ask more questions.
She spoke for an hour.
By then, she was talking about how much her father loved her, her family, and the little things her father did for her.
In another 30 minutes, as I sat beside her, she gathered up the courage to call her mother.
In another hour, she ate a Hide, and Seek I offered her, and in half an hour she finished her food.
All the while, she spoke, and I listened.
In another hour, she smiled at a joke I cracked.
By the time I left, and this girl sat beside her, she was fine, she’d smiled a couple of times, and I knew about her entire life.
As I left, she thanked me a hundred million times.
She hadn’t healed, but she would make it through somehow to reach home.
Q – How do I stay positive during tough times?
Surround yourself with the right people.
People who know that at times people don’t need advice, they just need someone to listen to them.
People who build you up, instead of using you as an excuse to talk about themselves.
People who understand that they’ll never understand what you’re going through.
People who’ll stand by you as you learn to walk again.
They are not also your enemies, they are your enemies.
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